Much has been said about depression, its etymology, the form of manifestation and treatment. However, therapeutically speaking, it would really make a big difference to always keep in mind that the client is not the problem, but rather that the client is a person who has a problem (Bannink, 2010). For example, instead of saying “you have depression” or “you are depressed,” I can say: “I am (name), and I have depressive episode behaviours.” O’Hanlon and Rowan (cited in Bannink, 2010) highlight the importance of distinguishing between person and disease and the responsibility of us psychologists / psychotherapists / counsellors to examine the effects on clients: “Ask not what disease the person has, but which person has the disease. ”(O’Hanlon and Rowan, cited in Bannink, 2010, p.69).
References
Bannink, F. (2010). 1001 solution-focused questions. NY: W.W. Norton & Company.
O’Hanlon, B., & Rowan, T. (2010). Solution-oriented therapy for chronic and severe mental illness. In B. Fredrike, 1001 solution-focused questions (p. 69). NY: W.W. Norton & Company.

In my experience, when a client expresses emotions such as fear, anger, or disappointment, psychologists must take into account that these emotions may indicate an “I want” or an “I wish.” It is a way of expressing that the client is tired of the current situation. For example, when attending couples for therapy, I have found that when the wife says that the time her husband spends playing online games with his friends is an act of “emotional betrayal,” what she is trying to express is her desire to be cared for, respected, appreciated, and loved. On the other hand, when her husband says and assures that “it is the bad temper of my wife that is causing us stress to the rest of the family,” it is most likely that he is expressing the same wishes as his wife: to be respected, appreciated, and loved.

The ability to regulate your emotions and your own behaviour is essential for academic achievement and interpersonal success. For example, children who use techniques to regulate better and self-control their behaviour and emotions show less anger, fear and discontent and greater empathy than their peers of the same age (Benight & Bandura, 2004). Other people rank these children as more socially competent and more popular, even years after graduation, probably because they are good at regulating their own emotions and taking into account the emotions of others (Knaus, 2014).
References
Benight, C. C., & Bandura, A. (2004). Social cognitive theory of posttraumatic recovery: The role of perceived self-efficacy. Behaviour research and therapy, 42(10), 1129-1148. Knaus, W. (2014). The Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Anxiety. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

According to Glasser, “success in any endeavour is directly proportional to how well the people involved in it get along” (Glasser W., 1999, p.21). That is why I suggest that parents establish positive and lasting relationships with their children to raise their self-esteem effectively. Schools play an important role in this process. Faculty and staff can assist in this process by welcoming students by name, learning a little about the interests and abilities of children and their families through pre-admission surveys, and conducting activities that promote respect and community integration in the classroom.
In other words, we are “obliged” to establish relationships both at school and at home under protective and supportive social environments for children to recognize and value what they are capable of and thus participate more frequently and successfully in social activities.
Reference
Glasser, W. (1999). Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom. New York, NY: Harper Perennial.