The bEmotion Blog

As a Colombian who emigrated to Canada almost 20 years ago, I have had good and not so good experiences in my acculturation process. Eight years ago, I had the rewarding experience of working for a foreign embassy in Ottawa. I remember just one time when I was providing information over the phone, as an information officer, about options for a Canadian couple to live in the country which I was representing. In the middle of my explanation, one of them interrupted me and said, "politely," excuse me, can I speak to someone who does not have an accent like yours? Even respectfully replying that I was trained to provide the required information as an information officer, they were not confident in my knowledge and did not want to continue talking to me because of my accent. Without elaborating on how my senior officer handled the situation, I cannot express how frustrating I felt at the time. In the end, I was blessed with the opportunity to experience and learn from situations like that.

Learn how to improve your relationship now! The ability to see the world as seen by others, through your eyes is known as "perspective-taking.” Research in the social field has found that "assuming the perspective of the other" is a crucial predictor of relationship satisfaction. People who can "take on the other person's perspective" may not feel what their partner is feeling, but they can list, describe, and act on their partner's thoughts. "Taking on the perspective of the other" is closely linked to emotional intelligence, helping you relate to others more successfully overall. The idea of mentally "putting yourself in someone else's shoes" is usually seen as a way of understanding and caring about another person. In this way, it will allow them to address minor disputes appropriately to prevent them from becoming a danger to the proper functioning of their relationship. Imagine you are sitting in front of your partner at the dining table. You can see your partner and whatever is behind their seat. Once you do this mind trick, you will know how your partner feels. This is what researchers call "empathic precision.” People who are good at "assuming the perspective of the other" can help maintain a healthy relationship. Try "reading" your partner's thoughts and how they react to strengthen your relationship. How? Take a break in the conversation for a “perspective check” when you feel that your relationship is "agitated" by your and your partner's emotional reactions. Your partner will like you more when you are skilled at accepting perspectives.

Pediatrician Saba Merchant, who practices in the northern Ontario city of Vaughan, north of Toronto, has used the term "social malnutrition" to describe the impact of isolation on children and adolescents during the pandemic. She describes how parents can unwittingly transmit their own COVID fears to their children through their daily interactions with them. One of the effects our young people have been experiencing, what Dr. Merchant refers to as "social malnutrition," on students' mental health was discussed in a CBC article published on June 20th, 2022 (Pug, 2022). Students across the country have been dealing with ongoing disruptions, ranging from cancelled school clubs and events to changing cohorts and online learning. Healthcare professionals and students have observed the adverse effects of social isolation on mental health. As a result of the measures put in place to reduce transmission during the COVID-19 pandemic, some students have expressed how difficult it has been to socialize and feel "free" again due to the fear of doing something wrong or making someone uncomfortable by being close to them. Although some clients who have displayed social anxiety-related behaviors have fared well during this pandemic, the impact of not having face-to-face interaction is being felt by our youth. Most have similar experiences to adults who have been "forced" to work remotely due to the pandemic. In my practice, I've seen an increase in the number of clients of both sexes who have symptoms of insecurity, restlessness, lower overall energy level, anxiety, less motivation just getting up to do online school and homework, and eating disorders. I'm not sure if this is a coincidence, but it appears to be the case. As Dr. Merchant points out, mental health experts and parents should be on the lookout for some of the following warning indicators that may indicate that something is not working well with them: Change in behavior Mood swings Trouble sleeping and Quick weight gains or losses. When it comes to their mental health, young people's voices must be heard. During the pandemic, I have spoken with several of my clients about how important it is for them, as parents, to find that "time off" that their kids have from electronic devices (video games, movies, and social media) so that they could be more open to conversations in which their children can express their emotions without feeling judged. Other psychotherapists have emphasized the need to acknowledge and respect our children's feelings. I agree. Validating their feelings about what they see, hear, and feel around them is the first step in teaching them to self-regulate. Reference Pug, J. (2022, June 20). The impact of  “social malnutrition” on students’ mental health and how to address it | CBC News. CBC; www.cbc.ca.

Conflict Resolution Strategies in English and Spanish-Mind Body Relationship. Dr. Ponsford-Hill of The Counseling House invited me to discuss conflict resolution and how we can resolve those conflicts that "put us off" and make us less efficient and productive. In this video, you will find some tips that will help you better "clear" your mind and thus be able to control your emotions and thoughts, freeing yourself from anxieties that do not allow you to see more clearly the solutions to your inter and intrapersonal conflicts.

We should spend a significant amount of time talking with our spouse if we want to get our marriage or relationship back on track or rekindled. Many people don't understand the power of simple conversation, whether it's small talk or not, because it builds on the love that already exists between the two of you. It is possible to remember good times even though you have gone through difficult times in your relationship. Who knows, perhaps today or tomorrow may be an excellent time to work out the pertinent issues that are bothering you and move forward in the relationship. It would be helpful if you also spent time reading or praying together, because quiet time is often the best time to think. You will find yourself sharing a lot with your partner when you have some quiet time for yourself regularly. Whether reading novels or newspapers or praying at a set time, you can set the tone for the appropriate environment to interact. A relationship will consistently improve significantly if you both understand the value of each other's time. It's important to respect your partner's interests as much as he or she respects yours. Even if you've had some bumps in the road, this kind of interaction will always make your relationship better.

This article aims to give you a short routine to energize you and start your morning. It will help you clarify your mind, activate yourself, and plan your day to get closer and closer to your values and achieve your purposes. This is a recipe for energizing the morning happily and productively; it will allow you at the end of the day to move forward and work on your value system with joy and in a planned way.

Knowing our own value system is essential; This will help us to resolve doubts about which is the best decision to make. Also, it allows our life to be more meaningful and joyful. On a daily basis, it is normal for situations to arise that lead us to "fall" into a spiral of maladaptive thoughts and attitudes. Therefore, it becomes more relevant that we work to enhance our resources and strengths. And how do we do it?

We are constantly trying to satisfy five basic needs: love/belonging, power, freedom, survival, and learning/fun. We are the only ones who choose how to respond to these needs. In other words, we are the only ones in charge of deciding what things or situations we want to keep and taking them to our beds at the end of the day. In addition, we are solely responsible for determining what ideas, thoughts, or memories we want to get up and start a new day. I know that situations often come unexpectedly and leave a lesson if we can identify them. However, it is up to us to decide on which side of the line we want to be on, towards the side of learning or the side of resentment and complaint.