In more than 20 years working as a psychotherapist, I have had the opportunity to listen and help many people of different ages, genders, or cultures. Notable people with extraordinary stories. Clients who learned to understand that they must be beyond the circumstances and that these never define them no matter how bad or good these circumstances had been. Throughout my professional experience, I have observed how these people, “survivors,” have formed their character. Most interestingly, I have also observed how they identify themselves in a common element: their victories were based on having chosen not to play the role of victims.

According to William Glasser, psychiatrist and psychologist who created the choices theory, since we begin our day, we are constantly trying to satisfy five basic needs: love/belonging, power, freedom, survival, and learning/fun. We are the only ones who choose how to respond to these needs. In other words, we are the only ones in charge of deciding what things or situations we want to keep and taking them to our beds at the end of the day. In addition, we are solely responsible for determining what ideas, thoughts, or memories we want to get up and start a new day. I know that situations often come unexpectedly and leave a lesson if we can identify them. However, it is up to us to decide on which side of the line we want to be on, towards the side of learning or the side of resentment and complaint.

I can guarantee you that we will always have the power to make a difference, even under challenging circumstances. For example, we do not choose the parents we have/had or the country where we were born, but we can choose what to do with those circumstances. Víctor Frankl, the father of logotherapy, said that when we find ourselves in situations where we have done the possible and the impossible to change them, and these do not change, it is the same situation that forces us to change the way we perceive it or react to it.

As 2022 begins, I invite you to reflect on your actions (reactions) to the situations that will arise and choose responsibly on which side of the line you want to stay. You have the power, and you know it, to make a difference in a society that asks for more tolerance in our relationships.

Merry Christmas and new and blessed 365 and more opportunities for 2022.